New episode every Sunday!

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Ep. 62 300 aka Gerry B’s Ab Army

You may think we did this movie because it’s “not great” but the truth of the matter is, we’ve got nothing but love for this movie. This week we watch 2007s, “300” and loved every moment of it. From Gerry B’s braided rat tail to Lena Headly? Heedly? Headey’s uninterested facial expressions, right down to the Extra with a capital “E” Xerxes we enjoyed this movie. Join us as we talk about this CGI filled Ab Army and their woe’s. Make sure to rate and subscribe or you’ll find yourself kicked right down the Spartan well of doom. 

Stats/info: 2007, directed by Zack Snyder and Noam Murro, starring Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, David Wenham, and Dominic West

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Ep. 61 Midnight Meat Train aka Davy Jones’ Meat Locker

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Based on Clive Barker’s short story, we checked out Midnight Meat Train! We attempt to suss out if this movie was released in 3-D (it wasn’t), why the Subway Butcher grows barnacles (unclear), and what city this takes place in (New York City...or Chicago. Actually, definitely Los Angeles. Maybe.) Check this movie out for the some of the “human” names that were definitely aliens in disguise and every time someone cries badly. Remember to rate and review, otherwise we’ll see you onboard the Midnight Meat Train.

Stats/info: 2008, directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, starring Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, and Vinnie Jones

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Ep. 60 Child’s Play aka The vocal villain

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This week we watch another classic 80’s movies, “Child’s Play.” The build up took quite some time and the film was still trying to make it a mystery on who the killer was; news flash, it’s Chucky. Join us as we go over how terrible the cops are in this town, how many times the mom can say “Andy”, and Jen’s [now] famous Mac’n Cheese recipe. Be sure to rate and subuscribe or we’ll buy you a good guys doll that’s actually alive and is seeking vengeance.

Stats/info: 1988, directed by Lars Klevberg and written by Don Mancini, starring Catherine Hicks, Chris Sarandon, Alex Vincent, and Brad Dourif

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Ep. 59 Amityville Horror aka Professor Gotta Ketcham All

If you were wondering if this movie had Ryan Reynolds’ abs, then do I have good news for you. Featuring a solid hour of 1970’s Ryan Reynolds chopping wood shirtless, haunted vents, and a Pennywise cameo, this movie has everything. Join us as Jen spends the entire episode knowingly pronouncing “Amityville” incorrectly and we try to figure out who the real villain is. Remember to rate and subscribe, or we’ll katch you, kill you.

Stats/info: 2005, directed by Andrew Douglas and written by Scott Kosar, starring Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George and Philip Baker Hall

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Ep. 58 Leprechaun 2 Electric Boogaloo

Um, so, this movie happened. This week we watched the second movie in the Leprechaun series, the oh so cleverly titled, “Leprechaun 2.” We were pretty disappointed that the Leprechaun didn’t showcase any of his thespian roots in this one but we did learn that he is a dentist so, he’s really a trick of all trades. Join us as we discuss terrible, terrible acting, our love for gold and caves, and leprechaun anatomy. Be sure to rate and subscribe or we’ll make you sneeze three times, thus becoming wed to a leprechaun.

Stats/info: 1994, directed by Rodman Flender, starring Warwick Davis, Shevonne Durkin, Charlie Heath, and Sandy Baron

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Ep. 57 Prince of Darkness aka Triple Six, Five, Forked Tongue (Death Yon)

This week we dive on into a movie that probably confused us more that it should have and introduced more useless characters that we could keep track of. Featuring Moustache Mark, a satanic version of Rasputin’s glow stick, and Jesus Christ: Super Alien, this movie has everything. Join us as we talk Jen’s love of magicians, what time it is outside, and much, much, more.  Be sure to rate and subscribe on iTunes or we'll vomit green goo into your mouth. 

Stats/info: 1987, directed and written by John Carpenter, starring Donald Pleasence, Victor Wong, Jameson Parker, and Lisa Blount

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Ep. 56  Jennifer’s Body aka Everyone has a goth Colin 

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This week we return to Jen’s high school years as we watch one of her favorites, “Jennifer's Body.” You know it's got to be decent watch if Molly gives it a good star rating considering she despises the main actress. Join us as we discuss primo writing, good blood face, & Molly having severe Friday brain. Be sure to rate and subscribe on iTunes or we'll print a demon spell off AOL and sacrifice you. 

Stats/info: 2009, directed by Karen Kusama, starring Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody, and Johnny Simmons 

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Ep. 55 Hell House LLC aka Oh f***, clown is f***

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Wow, did we (mostly Jen) get spooped and startled in this one. Get ready for this week as we talk how to properly store bottles of wine, Dateline NBC, and Paul, the real villain of this movie! Some advice: if you’re renting house that is making people see things and sleepwalk, maybe take the L, pack up, and move away. Remember to rate and subscribe, otherwise we’ll come stand by your bed in the middle of the night.

Stats/info: 2015, written and directed by Stephen Cognetti, starring Ryan Jennifer, Danny Bellini, Gore Abrams, Jared Hacker, Adam Schneider, and Alice Bahlke

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Ep. 54 Paranormal Activity 2 aka The first one is somehow better

This week we return to the world of Paranormal Activity and we could not give a sh*t about the characters. We watched 2010’s “Paranormal Activity 2” and jeepers was it BORING. Join us as we discuss swinging pot wind horror, the goodest girl, a dad who forgets he has a son, and paying your debts. Be sure to rate and subscribe on iTunes otherwise we’ll do a seance and sacrifice you to a demon.  

Stats/info:  2010, directed by Tod Williams, starring Molly Ephraim, Sprague Grayden, and Brian Boland

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Ep. 53 Friday the 13th aka Mrs. V’s GoPro

Finally! We get to one of the big three horror franchises, and man, does this one seem kind of slow once you know the ending. Thankfully, Jen never remembers twists and makes several compelling cases in regards to the “real killer...Camp Owner Steve!” This week, we get bored watching people make cocoa, discuss vitamin C, and schedule obsessed killers. Rate and subscribe on iTunes, otherwise we’ll tell Mrs. V how naughty you all have been.

Stats/info: 1980, directed by Sean S. Cunningham, and written by Victor Miller, starring Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Harry Crosby, Laurie Bartram, Mark Nelson, Jeannine Taylor, Robbi Morgan, and Kevin Bacon.

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Ep. 52 The Monster Squad aka The Frank and Phoebe Story


This week we watch a listener suggested movie, 1987’s “The Monster Squad.” While it is a fun, very 80’s movie it is also full of problematic lingo and themes. Join us as we go on several tangents, especially a deep dive into our favorite garbage series, “Twilight,” what kind of school these kids went to that allowed them to make silver bullets in shop class, and how Frank and Phoebe save the day. Be sure to rate and subscribe on iTunes or we’ll open the vortex full of old timey people and suck you up with them.

Stats/info: 1987, directed by Fred Dekker, starring Andre Gower, Ryan Lambert, Ashley Bank, Robby Kiger, Tom Noonan, Duncan Regehr, and Brent Chalem

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Ep. 51 Killer Klowns from Outer Space aka Are we human, or are we popcorn babies descended from alien klowns?


This week we check out one of the most famous B-Movies of all time - Killer Klowns! We try way too hard to figure out what time it is in this one - join us in talking where clown babies come from (is it a clown that’s a baby, or a baby that’s a clown?), how humans are descended from a race of alien klowns (#klownterrapapers), and the strangest throuple this side of the Mississippi. Rate and review, otherwise we’ll turn you into cotton candy.

Stats/info: 1988, directed by Chiodo the Brothers, starring Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, John Allen Nelson and John Vernon.

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Ep. 50 Legend aka #DarknessDaddy

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“Ridley Scott does Labyrinth” is really how this movie should be billed (and yes, we know that Legend came out first). Get ready for our first truly divisive movie! Molly hates it, Jen loves it -  although, we can both agree we would 100% happily stay with Darkness. First order of business - take a Zyrtec and batten down the hatches because the amount of pollen/cotton floating around is upsetting. This week, we talk retinols, the crouching power pose (#dickout), and unicorn purity culture. Rate and review, otherwise Darkness will make you his bride...on second thought, rate and review, otherwise Darkness WON’T make you his bride.

Stats/info: 1985, directed by Ridley Scott, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, and Annabelle Lanyon.

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Ep. 49 The Grudge aka Molly's Autobiography

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Angry ghosts in your wall, eh? Now you're speaking my language. This week we watch the entirety disappointing, early 2000’s, “The Grudge.” Jen had never seen it and middle school Molly was completely messed up by it. However, it sure didn't live up to the memories. Join us as we discuss the messy AF timelines, the spinoff series we want (Toshio and his cat), and the quick killing techniques of the Grudge Lady. We also discuss the series finale of Game of Thrones (season 8, episode 6, “The Iron Throne”), so skip to 13:15 to avoid GoT spoilers. Be sure to rate and subscribe on iTunes or Molly will add you to her Grudge list.

Stats/info: 2004, directed by Takashi Shimizu, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Takako Fuji, Yuya Ozeki, Takashi Matsuyama, and Jason Behr

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Ep. 48 The Descent aka Stick ‘em with the pointy end

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Woah boy, it’s been a hot minute since we got to see a good movie, but this one was pretty darn good. This week we talk about Man Bat, blood hot tubs in your house, and possibly most importantly - Game of Thrones #HotPieForTheThrone. (Skip to 13:15 to avoid spoilers for GoT season 8, episode 5, “The Bells.”)  We also talk cave interior decorating and how hard it must be to get someone out there to fix the Wi-Fi (our hearts go out to you, Gollums). Rate and review otherwise we’ll leave you to get nibbled on by the cave monsters.

Stats/info: 2005, directed by Neil Marshall, starring Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder, MyAnna Buring, Nora-Jane Noone

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Ep 47 The Covenant aka The film with not enough swim scenes


Three things we know about getting into a private 7+ boarding school, you must have a 10 pack, you must awkwardly play “I Love Rock n’ Roll” on a dive bar jukebox and then awkwardly dance, and last but most important, you must run some f*cking errands. This week we watch 2006’s, “The Covenant.” If you enjoy below average plot lines, hot men in tiny swim trunks, and witch puns, this movie is for you. Join us as we weave our way (because spiders) through this craptastic movie that does get a pass for providing eye candy and a case of the giggles for Molly. Be sure to rate and subscribe or we’ll send you a Darkling.

Stats/info: 2006, directed by Renny Harlin, starring Steven Strait, Sebastian Stan, Laura Ramsey, Chace Crawford, Taylor Kitsch, Toby Hemingway, and Jessica Lucas

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Ep. 46 The Nun aka Sister Act 3: Crucify This


Tessa? Tassa? Tissa? We spend way too long trying to figure out how to pronounce Taissa Farmiga’s name. This week we watch The Nun featuring the most useless priest in the world. We talk about how this film is actually a documentary about people who bother Molly at her dragon castle, Jen forgets to make a Sound of Music joke, and we propose new Sister Act sequels.

Stats/info: 2018, directed by Corin Hardy and written by Gary Dauberman, starring Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, and Jonas Bloquet

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Ep. 45 The Meg aka How to lose a 60 ft shark in 3 days


What do you get when you add Jason Statham, Rainn Wilson, a 60 ft shark and the song “Hey Mickey” sung in Thai? A really mediocre shark movie. This week we watched 2018’s, “The Meg” and boy was it a disappointment. The shark of this movie could learn a thing or two from watching, “Deep Blue Sea” on how to kill humans. Join us as we talk about how a group of adults lose a 60ft shark (several times), how Ruby Rose is a 15/10 on the hotness scale, and how Molly had no idea that Jason Statham was British. Be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes or we’ll make chum outta you.

Stats/info: 2018, directed Jon Turteltaub, starring Jason Statham, Li Bingbing, Ruby Rose, Rainn Wison, Jessica McNamee, Cliff Curtis, Page Kennedy, and Robert Taylor

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Ep. 44 ABCs of Death - Part 2 aka La Croix and Lemonaise

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The thrilling conclusion to ABCs of Death, listen is as we talk La Croix, Jen’s love of flavored mayonnaise, and Molly’s disdain for bodily fluids. Ending with one of the strangest shorts we’ve ever seen, we continue to get downright confused by some of these stories. Follow along, and while your at it, maybe skip P.

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Ep. 43 ABCs of Death - Part 1 aka They didn’t teach you these ABC’s in school, kids

We really like our anthologies people, mmkay? This week we watch 2012’s “ABC’s of Death” and it gets gory, silly, and downright weird. 26 different directors from around the world were assigned a letter from the alphabet and told to make a short horror story about death and it went several ways. Join us as we enjoy a few, get confused by a few, and downright can’t watch a few. This is a two-parter episode so double the fun. Be sure to rate and subscribe on iTunes or you’ll be assigned the letter X.

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Ep. 42 V/H/S 2 aka Get out of my doorway and put that thing back where it came from or so help me (so help me!)

This week we watched the mostly unrelated sequel to one of our first movies, VHS 2. Join us in talking Black Mirror (don’t trust your mom, she’s probably a robot), an extensive list of things we don’t like in horror films, and Jen’s rival, the Krampus knock off.

Stats/info: 2013, directed and written by Jason Eisener, Gareth Evans, Timo Tjahjanto, Eduardo Sánchez, Gregg Hale, Simon Barrett and Adam Wingard.

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Ep. 41 You’re Next aka Please, someone use the front door

This week we watched another mumblegore classic, You’re Next! Adam Wingard may have dumped on Jen’s favorite anime, but she partially forgives give because of this sufficient movie. Join us in chatting how long you can hold your bladder and confusing masks, all while doing our best Australian accents. Rate and subscribe, otherwise we’ll put some nail traps under your windows.

Stats/info: 2011, directed by Adam Wingard, written by Simon Barrett and starring Sharni Vinson, Nicholas Tucci, Wendy Glenn, A. J. Bowen and Joe Swanberg.

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Ep. 40 Happy Death Day aka Wash, rinse, repeat


We really want cake now. This week we watch 2017’s “Happy Death Day” and don’t worry, we’re back to being our hilarious selves. How would you like to groundhog day it but be killed at the end of the day every time? Yeah, it sounds pretty exhausting honestly. Join us as Jen discusses her long lost love, we discuss the important topic of the exchange rate of foreign currency, and we get heavily side tracked by the fact that Scooby Doo Zombie Island is on Youtube. Be sure to rate and subscribe on Itunes or we’ll send clown baby after you on your birthday.

Stats/info: 2017, directed by Christopher Landon and starring Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, Ruby Modnie, and Rachel Matthews

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Ep. 39 Hereditary aka Charlie and the Chocolate Demon Factory

Prepare yourselves for a very unfunny episode. This movie was so darn good that we barely had any jokes at all. We talk the market for miniatures, baking at house parties, and if Gabriel Byrne made it off of the Ghost Ship. Make sure the rate and subscribe, otherwise we’ll come and possess your bodies. These mortal forms grow weak.

Stats/info: 2018, directed by Ari Aster and starring Toni Collette, Alex Wolff, Milly Shapiro, and Gabriel Byrne.

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Ep. 38 Final Destination aka Oscillating fans, the true econ vehicle

Here’s the deal, Death is Type A personality and you do NOT f*ck with it’s plans! This week we watched “Final Destination” and rather enjoyed it?! Gather round as we discuss toilet shots, Jen way undershooting how many people die a day (she’s very optimistic for the human race), and how the main two characters form a relationship when nobody was watching. Don’t cheat us or death and be sure to rate and subscribe on Itunes!

Stats/info: 2000, directed by James Wong and starring Ali Larter, Devon Sawa, Kerr Smith, Kristen Cloke, Seann William Scott, and Amanda Detmer

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Ep. 37 Eight Legged Freaks aka State v. ItsyBitsy

Man, oh man, was this rough. A movie we thought was going to be good, but was actually just...not. We talk spider squatter's rights, nonsensical jokes, and how bored we were watching this movie. Do yourself a favor and check out Under the Skin and give this one a skip (seriously, you’re better off watching Ghost Ship). Remember to subscribe and rate, otherwise...spider bite chya.

Stats/info: 2002, directed by Ellory Elkayem and starring David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer, Scott Terra and Scarlett Johansson.

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Ep. 36 Ghost Ship aka Demons be workin’ 9-5’s.

Ghosts? Ships? Gold? This week we watched 2002’s, “Ghost Ship.” This ended up being another big let down for us. Just like the rest of society, the only thing we remembered about this movie was the opening scene where everyone gets sliced like fancy cake. Join us as we discuss too much boat talk, ghost quotas, and that one indie movie from 1997, “Titanic.” Always choose the gold and be sure to subscribe and rate us on iTunes!

Stats/info: 2002, directed by Steven Beck. Starring Emily Browning, Julianna Margulies, Desmond Harrington, Ron Eldard, Gabriel Byrne, Karl Urban, and Isaiah Washington.

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Ep. 35 Creep aka When a fine PYT walks in front of your tree, do the creep!

Do the creep (ahhh), do the creep (ahhhh). As a couple of creeps ourselves, we have the authority to say that this guy is a creep! We sidebar A LOT during this one, talking Sam Heughan as Charlie Weasley, the time Jen got flustered just looking at someone dressed as Spike, and inviting Hades to your childhood birthday party. So get your knees flexin’ and your arms T-Rexin’ and creep on over to iTunes to review and subscribe!

Stats/info: 2014, directed by Patrick Brice. Starring Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass,

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Ep. 34 I Know What You Did Last Summer aka Man Door Hand Hook Car Door aka Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen [he was #1]

This movie is dripping in 90’s realness and we are LIVING.IT.FOR.IT. This week we watch 1997’s “I Know What You Did Last Summer!” Put on your metal arm band and spike your hair real high as we talk about the ultimate 90’s triple acronym squad (except Ryan Phillippe, he only has two initials (Shyamalan twist we pronounced his last name wrong [on 2 accounts] the entire episode)), CRUEL INTENTION SPOILERS, gateway brain teaser problems, and give a special shoutout to our friends string cheese and mirrors. Turn on your melodramatic 90’s music, slap some sunscreen on and be sure to rate and subscribe our the dude in a sweet, sweet, duster will come and fish hook ya.

Stats/info: 1997, directed by Jim Gillespie. Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., and Ryan Phillippe

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Ep. 33 Sleepaway Camp aka Crop Tops & Plum Smugglers

A class B-Movie suggested by #1 listener, Stupid Josh! We attempt to understand the family dynamics of this film, as well as the strange reason you should never tell anyone Mother-Aunt Martha did your physical. Join us in talking uncomfortable Director Commentaries, the 80’s version of “Light as a feather, stiff as a board”, and how much we hate pervy white dudes. Rate and subscribe before you get run over by a negligent water skier!

Stats/info:1983, written and directed by Robert Hiltzik. Starring Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten, Karen Fields, Christopher Collet.

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Ep. 32 Aeon Flux aka Welcome to the Bean Palace

This week we dive on in, into one of the most garbage movies ever, 2005’s “Aeon Flux.” Jen is still confused on what his movie is about and Molly had a “light bulb moment” after having realized what this movie is actually about after 14 yrs. Join us as we discuss this movie’s obsession with beans, hands for feet, and blimp tentacle memorials; bonus, you get to hear us sing the entire Kim Possible theme song, completely out of tune. Be sure to rate and subscribe us on iTunes or you’ll have to figure out what this movie is about.

Stats/info: Directed by Karyn Kusama, starring Charlize Theron, Marton Csokas, Sophia Okonedo, and Frances McDormand

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Ep. 31 (Part 2) IT (2017) aka My Dad always told me to never date a carny

The thrilling ending to It! Please sign our petition for Daddywise, the Grinch, and Leprechaun to start a theeeeeatre troupe together, as they are both sassy, garbage loving, well dwelling actors. We maintain we could definitely take a whole class of middle schoolers, whereas Daddywise can only take a few, despite the fact that he is an interdimensional being of evil.  Don’t forget to subscribe and rate, and welcome to the Loser’s Club, asshole.

Stats/info: Directed by Andy Muschietti, starring Jaeden Lieberher, Bill Skarsgård,Jeremy Ray Taylor, Sophia Lillis, Finn Wolfhard, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff.

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Ep. 30 (Part 1) IT (2017) aka Daddywise

Our favorite movie ever featuring #Daddywise! We had a lot to say about this movie, so it ended up turning into a two-parter. We love #claddy, and maintain that the real villains of this movie are the pervy old white men. Billy Skarsgaard’s drooling is top drawer and truly something to be admired. Now, gentle reader, listen if you dare...for this film will give you quite a scare.

Stats/info: Directed by Andy Muschietti, starring Jaeden Lieberher, Bill Skarsgård,Jeremy Ray Taylor, Sophia Lillis, Finn Wolfhard, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff.

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Ep. 29 Holidays aka This is has been 2018, thank you and goodnight

FINALLY the holiday season is over. It’s almost time to ring in the new year! We’ve officially been recording for six months, go us! Join us as we wrap up 2018 with the 2016 anthology movie, “Holidays.” We discuss the coveted Reptile Medical School, #BunnyJesus, and how the serial killer gets serial killed. Make sure to subscribe and rate us on iTunes or we’ll send Bunny Jesus to your house, and nobody wants that.

Stats/info: 2016, Directed by Kevin Smith, Gary Shore, Matt Johnson, Scott Stewart, Nicholas McCarthy, Dennis Widmyer, Kevin Kolsch, Sarah Adina Smith, and Anthony Scott Burns, starring several people...go look them up yourselves.

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Ep. 28 Krampus aka A Lady Does Not Reveal Her Age

Jen’s starring role! She would like to clarify that she does NOT have a hump and she does NOT crack chimneys when she goes down them. The real question of this episode is “What happened to the baby??” Remember to drink your milk and the tears of children, as well as subscribing, rating, and reviewing...unless you want Jen to put you in her sack and take you to the underworld!

Stats/info: 2015, Directed by Michael Dougherty, starring Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner, Allison Tolman

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Ep. 27 Silent Night, Deadly Night aka I was being very Naugggggghhhttttyyyy

Billy, Timmy, Tommy, HEY KID. This week we watch another 80’s B-horror movie, “Silent Night Deadly Night.” Molly and Jen mixed up the order in which they were releasing episodes so listen in as we talk like this episode is coming before “Christmas Evil.” Other topics of discussion this week include the human anatomy, wearing butt crack jean shorts in the middle of winter, and the slice and drag method. Make sure you’re on the Nice list and subscribe and rate us on Itunes!

Stats/info: 1984, Directed by Charles Sellier, starring, Robert Brian Wilson, Gilmer McCormick, Toni Nero, and Lilyan Chauvin

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Ep. 26 Christmas Evil aka Faster, Santa Claus! Kill! Kill!

As loooong as there’s Christmas, I truuuuuuuly belieeeeve...that Fiona Apple’s dad is here to fuck my shit up. Don’t pick your nose kids, because he’s creeping, he’s peeping, and he’s going to give you a big sack o’ dirt if you do something naughty. We talk German Expressionism, John Water’s favorite holiday movie, and how Phil is the real villain of this thing. Make sure to subscribe, rate, and review, otherwise you’ll be put in Harry’s naughty book!

Stats/info: Directed by Lewis Jackson, and starring Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn, and Dianne Hull.’

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Ep. 25 (Part 2) Rose Red aka Annie are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?

The thrilling conclusion to 2 ½ hours of exposition in a not so thrilling climax. Join us in singing several songs, wondering why people are dying and no one is addressing it,, and more ghost law. Jen gets confused for a full 60 seconds trying to describe architecture. Don’t go wandering at night, don’t get lost in the house, and remember to subscribe, rate, and review these ghosts with the mosts.

Stats/info: 2002, directed by Craig R. Baxley, and starring Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Julian Sands, Kimberly J. Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Matt Ross, and Emily Deschanel.

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Promo: The Thirst
Small Business Shout-Out:  Get Fictional Candles

Ep. 24 (Part 1) Rose Red aka 2.5 Hours of Exposition

If you’re looking for something fun to do this holiday season, check out Rose Red. Located in a boarding house for ghosts, the password to get in is “ANNIE? ANNIE?!”. This place has everything: bees, a Willy Wonka room, a house that produces its own fog...Marnie from Halloweentown. As a fair warning - prepare yourself for an hour and fifteen minute episode that is primarily exposition.

Stats/info: 2002, directed by Craig R. Baxley, and starring Nancy Travis, Matt Keeslar, Julian Sands, Kimberly J. Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Matt Ross, and Emily Deschanel.

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Ep. 23 Pet Sematary aka Corpse Carl to the Rescue

This week we watch the classic Stephen King novel turned movie, “Pet Sematary.” Join us as we discuss annoying tire girl, undead cats, undead kids, and everything in between. We get spicy talking about ableism, letting your cats outdoors, and using Indigenous people’s burial grounds as evil/negative entities. So, stop bringing your pets back from the dead and be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes.

Stats/info: 1989 Directed by Mary Lambert. Starring Fred Gywnne, Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, Miko Hughes, and Blaze Burdhal.

Burial Grounds Coffee Co: https://burialgrounds.coffee/

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Ep. 22 House of Wax (2005) aka He’s a Greasy Degenerate and I Love Him

Nothing says “mid-2000s” like a movie starring Chad Michael Murray and Paris Hilton. This week we watched House of Wax; which really has nothing to do with the the original House of Wax, aside from, you know, wax. Join us as we watch an extended Scooby Doo episode featuring #noachilleshorror, Jen’s true love (Grunge Daddy), and - HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MUSIC?? Remember to subscribe and review before you split up and search for clues.

Shout out - Wit and Glitter Co.

Stats/info: 2005, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra. Starring Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Brian Van Holt, Paris Hilton, Jared Padalecki, Jon Abrahams and Robert Ri'chard.

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Ep. 21 Stay Alive aka Rose Law

Holy Hannah we survived our first live recording! I guess you could say we were able to...Stay...Alive….AYO. This week we recorded a live episode at Minneapolis Crypticon (thanks for letting us do a panel) and we go through 2006’s “Stay Alive.” We both consider this movie a nostalgia love but jeepers is it terrible. Join us as we discuss crunchy zombie children, ghost law, and a personality that matches a dining room hutch. Spare us one of your extra lives and leave us an Itunes review!

Stats/info: 2006 Directed by William Brent Bell, starring Frankie Muniz, Sophia Bush, Jon Foster, Samaire Armstrong, and Jimmi Simpson


Ep. 20 Nightmare on Elm Street aka How to Have Pizazz

HAPPY HALLOWEEN YA CREEPS. This week we wanted to address some information about our Podcast for new (or current listeners) and because you’re dealing with a Gemini and a Libra, you’re going to get it delivered two different ways. Don’t feel like joining in on the rant? That’s OK skip ahead to about 11:34 to get started on the actual content and why you listen! This week, on the spookiest week of the year we watch the classic “Nightmare on Elm Street” with our man F.K. Join us as we discuss Freddy’s terrible form when running, the lack of shoes worn in questionable alleys, and Jen laying down some hXc film trivia.

1,2 Molly and Jen are coming for you,

3,4 gotta do something more,

5, 6 because you like these chicks,

7, 8 give them an Itunes rate,

9, 10 so pick up your virtual pen...

Stats/info: 1984 Directed by Wes Craven starring Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, Johnny Depp, John Sazon, Amanda Wyss, Jsu Garcia, and Marge Thompson

Podcast Promo: That’s Weird

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Ep. 19 House on Haunted Hill (1999) aka It’s Actually a Hospital on a Cliff

*Cricket noises* This uh...this movie was not good. It wasn’t even so bad it was good. We watch 1999’s “House on Haunted Hill.” This movie scared the pants off Molly when she was a kid and holy guacamole did it not hold up. Join us as we discuss how it’s not a house (it’s a hospital), the big bads don’t make any sense, and how  an entity made out of smoke can’t even go through a door. Subscribe and rate us on Itunes or you’ll be cursed to watch this movie on repeat for the rest of your life.

Stats/info: 1999, directed by William Malone starring Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher, Chris Kattan, Ali Larter, and Bridgette Wilson-Sampras

Books: “What the Woods Keep” by Katya de Becerra and “Throne of Glass” series by Sarah J. Maas

Promo: Ghouls Gone Wild

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Ep. 18 Gods of Egypt aka Bek-y With the Good Hair

The Kingslayer, Gerard Butler, and the kid from the Blue Lagoon remake walk into a bar. Oh, you thought that was a joke? Nope. That’s just a day on the set of Gods of Egypt. Shockingly, this movie features no Egyptian actors and A LOT of white people.This crap sack of a film brings us Indiana Jones rip offs (#onlythepenitentmanwillpass), video game one liners, and the most confusing family relationships since Shatterstar and Longshot. Subscribe and rate on iTunes or else we’ll tell people that this is your favorite movie.

Stats/info: 2016, directed by Alex Proyas. Starring Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Gerard Butler, and Brenton Thwaites.

Sanctuary Candle Co: https://www.thesanctuarycandleco.com/

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Ep. 17 Trick ‘r Treat aka The Halloween Cheermeister

What do we want? MORE LADY WEREWOLVES! When do we want them? NOW! Check your candy kids and never go to strangers house’s while trick or treating (even though that’s the entire point of the activity). To kick-off the happiest time of the year,  we watch our first listener suggested movie, “Trick R Treat!” Put on your holiday best and join us as we discuss jackie-o’s, knife collecting, and spreading the holiday cheer. Subscribe and rate us on Itunes or we’ll come by your house and blow out your jack-o -lanterns causing you certain doom! #nodoghorror #nounderthebedhorror #noonthebedhorror #noachillesheelhorror

Stats/info: 2007 Directed by Michael Dougherty, starring Anna Paquin, Dylan Baker, Brian Cox, and Quinn Lord

Geeky Girl Scents: https://www.etsy.com/shop/GeekyGirlScents

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Ep. 16 They Live! Aka OBEY. CHEW BUBBLE GUM. KICK A**

This week we watch a favorite of ours, 1988’s, “They Live!” If you’re looking for a movie with a pro-wrestler as the hero, mullets, theme music, and quips a plenty THIS is your movie. Put on your alien detecting sunglasses and join us as we talk bougie aliens, Roddy Piper’s spectacular performance, and how Jen can’t remember what a garbage truck is called. We’ve come here to kick a** and chew bubblegum...and we’re all out of bubblegum. So pull up those 80’s jeans and listen in. OBEY. SUBSCRIBE. SUBMIT. RATE US ON ITUNES. NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT. LEAVE A REVIEW. OBEY.

Stats/info: 1988 - Directed by John Carpenter, starring Roddy Piper, Keith David, and Meg Foster

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Ep. 15 Drag Me to Hell aka The Case of the Cat Killer

This week we watched a film rife with fly horror and inside wind - Drag Me to Hell. We still hate Justin Long for being such a jerk in Tusk, but we still want to know - does Justin Long have BDE? Sam Raimi somehow knows that all we want out of a horror movie is Haunted Mansion vibes and Looney Tunes rules. Listen as we turn on our evil main character, Christine. Subscribe and give us a good rating, otherwise we’ll send our grandmothers after you to steal your buttons and curse you.

Stats/info: 2009 - Directed by Sam Raimi, starring Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver, Dileep Rao

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Ep. 14 Catwoman aka Do you get it? She’s a cat.

We watch one of the worst “superhero” movies ever.  A film that seems to have been developed by a director who took the moniker of “Catwoman” way too literally. If you like R&B stock music, ferris wheel horror, and Halle Berry dunking, we’ve got the movie for you! We ventured into Meowzer’s domain (aka the basement), so you lucky cats get to hear Jen shouting at him for trying to steal her sandwich and Meowzer defying the laws of physics by appearing out of a wall. Get a saucer of milk and some catnip, and claw your way into the movie with us. Remember to subscribe on iTunes and please share!

Stats/info: 2004 - Directed by Pitof, starring Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, and Sharon Stone

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Ep. 13 (Part 1) Rosemary’s Baby aka You Turtleneck Ba*****

Ep. 13 (Part 2) Rosemary’s Baby aka The Antichrist Needs Love Too

It’s lucky episode number 13 and not only that, the inspiration for our name! This week we watch 1968’s “Rosemary’s Baby” directed by the POS Roman Polanski. This one’s a long one so, we’ve split it into two episodes for your convenience. Listen in as we discuss this iconic movie and the inspiration it’s brought to pop culture; the good and the bad. A few things to keep in mind, never eat chalky tasting mousse, don’t let turtleneck bastards get you down, and satanists are people too. Let’s get weird together and be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes! Shout out to the Wine and Crime Podcast gals who are the feature promo in this episode!

Stats/info: Directed by that POS Roman Polanksi, starring Mia Farrow, Ruth Gordon, John Cassevetes, and Sydney Blackmer

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Ep. 12 Godzilla aka Single Working Mom


If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I wonder if a 300 ft. lizard who is running amuck causing chaos in New York city would be able to hide?” The answer is yes, yes it could. This week we re-lived our childhood and found nothing but utter disappointment when watching 1998’s “Godzilla.” Join us as we discuss Godzilla’s workout regime, the 300 eggs rollin’ around inside of her like a bingo cage, and the classic gumball trap. Dig yourself in to this episode and perhaps ruin your childhood memories of this movie as well. Help us spread our weird little wings and be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes!

Stats/info: 1998 - Directed by Roland Emmerich and Written by Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo, and Hank Azaria

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Ep. 11 Tusk aka A Heartwarming Story About A Man and His Pet Walrus

A movie inspired by a prank job posting for a man in a walrus suit, what could go wrong? The answer - absolutely nothing. Join us as we go full walrus and talk Jen’s top 5 heartwarming pet movies, a main character that we’re meant to hate, and the real mystery of this movie - did Teddy and Ally get it on?  We’re #TeamTeddy in this bonkers movie, dive on in with us and learn why! Don’t be a Walrus hater, be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes!

Stats/info: 2014 - Written and directed by Kevin Smith, starring Justin                                                                                                                    Long, Michael Parks, Haley Joel Osment, and Genesis Rodriguez

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Ep. 10 Queen of the Damned aka Twilight did it better

A movie where the title character doesn’t show up until ⅔ into the movie and most of the budget was spent on leather pants, “Queen of the Damned” is one of those rare films that makes you say, “Twilight did it better”. Put on your favorite Disturbed song and headbang with us through the movie that spends way too much time narrating what the characters are doing, instead of giving them dialogue. Subscribe and join our coven of weird, won’t you?

Stats/info: 2002 - Directed by Michael Rymer, starring Stuart Townsend, Aaliyah, and Marguerite Moreau

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Ep. 9 The Unborn aka HOW OLD ARE YOU? WHAT DAY IS IT?

#nodead kids, #norealkids #nodemonkids. What happens when you take White Bread, Pumpkin spice and throw in some blue gloves and demon kids? Gary Oldman and Idris Elba happen. This week we watched “The Unborn” and boy were we amazed at how bad it was. The real mystery/horror of this movie was the age of the characters and the timeline of events. Listen in kids, as we discuss the overuse of establishing shots, slo-motion, and tired creepy Carl (Carl = Barto). Molly eats Doritos under a blanket for those who have Misophonia because she cares about the fans. Perhaps some mutual care can be found by being sure to subscribe and rating us on Itunes!

Stats/info: 2009 - Directed by David S. Goyer starring Odette Annable, Gary Oldman, Cam Gigandet, Meagan Good, Idris Elba, Ethan Cutkosky

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Ep. 8 Leprechaun aka The Thespian

Stats/info: What do you do when some a**holes steal your money? Go after them of course! We watched the 1993 Leprechaun, another “so bad it’s good” horror movie. While the hero of our story, Leprechaun (Lep, for short) is dealing with a shoe compulsion, he manages to remain a master actor and a true thespian, clearly trained with the likes of Sir Ian McKellan. His commitment to his roles is truly astounding, rivaling even that of the great Charlton Heston. Alas, the only thing this film was missing was the "To be, or not to be" soliloquy from Billy Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

1993 - Starring Jennifer Aniston, Warwick Davis, Ken Olandt. Directed by Mark Jones.

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Ep. 7  Poltergeist aka Nobody Cares About Bloody Robbie

CW/TW - We talk a little about the domestic violence/murder of Dominique Dunne. Start at 5 minutes in to skip this.

Pro-tip: If you’re going to build cheap cookie cutter developments over burial sites, don’t just move the headstones, move the bodies too, you fools. We watch 1982’s “Poltergeist” and discover that it’s not Carol Anne who is the victim in this movie, it’s poor Robbie, the forgotten child. Gather round as we go over the the great camera work, the ghost goop budget, and ghosts in fedoras. Oh and a piece of advice, don’t be jamming up people’s frequencies, ya’ll. However, jam-up ours and be sure to subscribe and rate us on Itunes/Apple Podcasts!

1982 - Directed by Tobe Hooper starring Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Beatrice Straight, Dominique Dunne, Oliver Robins, Heather O’Rourke, and Zelda Rubinstein.

Ep. 6  Deep Blue Sea aka Shark M***** F*****, do you speak it?

Sometimes your budget doesn’t cover one fully trained parrot so you have to get two ½ trained ones. This week we DIVE (hahaaaaa) into the 1999 CLASSIC shark film “Deep Blue Sea.” What happens when you put a bunch of a**holes in an underwater facility with super smart sharks? The sharks win...or do they? Strap your goggles on and take a listen as we plunge (we got jokes) into the depths of the Deep Blue Sea. Drown us (can’t stop, won’t stop) with your love and be sure to subscribe!

1999 - Directed by Renny Harlin starring Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, Samuel L. Jackson, Jacqueline McKenzie, Michael Rapaport, and LL Cool J.

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Ep. 5  Paranormal Activity aka Law and Order: Paranormal Victims Unit

Directed by Oren Peli, starring Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat.

We checked out the “real” found footage film, Paranormal Activity. We got the giggles during this recording, so join us in discussing paranormal law and how much of this movie’s budget was spent on string. Since we know this is a hot topic now, we also take time to really dive into the state of the demon economy, particularly the housing market and rising costs of demon college. Remember to subscribe for more legal tips on dealing with ghosts, and check out Stambovsky v. Ackley.

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Ep. 4  Death Note aka Daphobia 2 - Electric Boogaloo

Daphobia - noun - extreme or irrational fear of Willem Dafoe.

We (unfortunately) watch the 2017 live action Death Note movie, directed by Adam Wingard (Blair Witch, You’re Next), starring Nat Wolff (Naked Brothers Band, Paper Towns), Lakieth Stanfield (Get Out, Atlanta), and Margaret Qualley (Palo Alto, The Leftovers). Episode four gets us talking about when frosted tips are acceptable (pro-tip, it’s never), the differences between Eastern and Western horror, and the rise of excessive 80’s synth pop.

You lucky listeners get to hear barks and jingles of Ralphie Anne, the podcast pup as well as Molly’s hip audibly pop as she demonstrates man spreading for Jen. Anything is possible here! So be sure to subscribe! If you don’t, we’ll Death Note your ass (just kidding, kind of)...

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Youtube Channel reference - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0iT9jv0cn8



Ep. 3 VHS aka Team Succubus

Third time’s the charm? Episode three snuggles us right into the 2012 mumble gore film “V/H/S” created by Brad Miska and directed by Adam Wingard, David Bruckner, Ti West, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, and Radio Silence. Join us as we discuss frat boys, if cocaine works on supernatural creatures, and the pronunciation of the word “plethora”. Hear why we’re #teamsuccubus and #nokids/#nodemonkids/#noghostkids. This film is full of gore, ookie spookies, and creativity. Be sure to be kind, rewind, and subscribe!

Ep. 2 Baywatch aka A 2 Hour Trap Video, Brah

*dope ass trap music noises plays in the background* (yelling over the music) Episode two we somehow, accidentally…watch 2017’s “Baywatch” directed by Seth Gordon. We discuss how this movie ended up being 2 hours long, how many abs Zac Efron actually has, and why you always need group dynamics when it comes to solvin’ crimes. Who’s the mystery dude inserting random comments in the background? Who knows! Come join us in our second episode and like, totally subscribe, brah.




Ep. 1 – Absentia aka Poor Daniel


It’s our first episode! Do we know what we’re doing? Kind of. Should you judge us harshly? Heck no! In this episode we discuss the 2011 film “Absentia” directed by Mike Flanagan. As we dive into the plot and discuss the characters, cinematography and our thoughts, we soon discover that we say “um” and “like” too darn much and cannot remember the plot (oops). Join us in our first rambling down the podcast hole and be sure to ya know, subscribe. #nomouthhorror